don't mind when i tell you i love you.
i'm not sincere in my claims.
i don't mean to lead you on,
but myself in attempt to hide pain.

i'm stumbling along the floor,
red face sobbing through the open door.
your footsteps fade down the hall.
i give up chase and share my tears with the wall.

my heart has fallen again.
this amorous battle i'll never win.
i'm silent and mangled,
my chest burns from within.

love kills

Good things are never constant.
Love brings heart break.
Heartbreaks make one weak.
Love kills. From the inside out.

Love needs truth to exist.
Pure honesty doesn't exist between two beings.
Self love is the only true love.
If one loves himself he is happy.
If one only loves himself he is lonely.
Desperate love fills loneliness.
Desperate love ends in separation.
Separation brings self doubt.
Love kills. From the inside out.

jane.

Stand up, Jane. You're not dead yet.
Knee deep in doubt won't get you anywhere.
No, don't look at them. Pick yourself up.
The worms will eat you alive.
Get out, Jane. You're sinking in.
You're deteriorating in uncomfortable skin.
I'll cut off your fingers and hang them overhead.
Maybe you'll come for them when you realize.
Jane, you're not dead.

let it fall

Oh the relief.
Deep breaths of warm, damp air.
The rain's finally here.
The ground has been dry for months.
Caramel water runs through the streets licking ankles and curbs.
A thirst finally quenched.
We've all missed the sound of life pouring down.

this isn't me

tangle me up in your sweater
i don't want to face the cold truth
split ends rest on my shoulders
the floor stares emptily back at me
and
the fridge door opens to a heavy heart
before bed i'll drink a bottle or two
things seem fine 'til the sun sets
then i'm just alone in my bed

get away

i hate spending time with you.
it makes me feel alone when you're gone.
i feel defensively numb when you're near,
but for some reason let you stay.
sometimes i want to rid you from my brain
and hope never to see you again.

but i know i'll think of you if you're away...

somedays

some days the orange juice goes bad,
but, darling, it's the only thing i have.
i don't want to get out of this mess,
but i have all of these feelings to confess.

some days i'm just no good.
i wish i loved you like you wish i would.
i'm so apathetic i can't be real.
i don't even have a heart for you to steal.

some days the rain comes down.
it saturates through this tired town,
and i'm still here, lonely in my full size bed
there's no reason to explain the tears i've shed

some days i think of you,
mostly your faults, nothing new.
things with us will never be the same.
this life we live is really fucking lame.

some days are colder than others,
but it'll be different tomorrow.
give me back my winter coat,
the last thing i'll ever let you borrow.

some days.

drunk

cherry red popsicles. i have goose bumps again.
tonight i sleep solo. i'll dream of you by my side.
i wish you were sincere and didn't have things to hide.
i'll smoke a bowl and forget these troubles.
you were always better at singles than doubles.

bunny with a crooked ear

bunny with a crooked ear
tell me now, can you hear?
the sounds in the night
that make all of us feel alone

i don't mind the darkness
but i can't stand the cold
the stars will shine down on us
until we're all dead and old

morning rise brings open eyes
another day is finally here
i can't stand to wake up
i know that you won't be near

bunny with a crooked ear
tell me now, can you hear?
the heart beats in my chest
when i don't know what to do

the lonely night is here again
i need to see you awfully soon
i'll walk these roads barefoot
under the bleached out moon

is there such thing as a happy end?
i've been walking alone for days
the sun burns and dries me away
i can't find you through the haze

bunny with a crooked ear
tell me now, can you hear?
the footsteps of my ghost
walking for a love i'll never reach

a pearl puddle

My hair melts from my head, collecting on my shoulders until it slides down my arms, past my chest, over my navel, down my thighs, knees, and calves, joining my feet in a puddle on the ground. My bald head shortly follows and I lose my sight, hearing, and smell as my facial features condense to bodily soup. I soon lose my shoulders which detach my arms that drop and melt into pools like the rest of me. My legs are last to go, but they swiftly follow. Now I stagnate as collection of liquid waiting to get washed away by the next rain, into the deep and vast oceans of the world. Take me away from here before I evaporate in this stale heat that I'm too familiar with.

rough roads

sometimes the roads get rough,
and i try to stay tough,
but this time i'm breakin' down.
i just wish these roads would be kind
and take me from this lonely town.

these wrong turns lead me
where i don't want to be.
i want you in the passenger side,
holdin' my hand and sittin' close to me.

start the car and drive.
forget about trouble we left behind.
don't look back,
i might change my irrational mind.

good and gone

Summer happiness stood beside me and almost held my hand, but I held hands with someone else, and now I have to let go. It was too good to be true, and now what am I to do?

I feel like I’m losing the only warm blanket in a snow storm.

Figures.

All this time passes and I start to think I’m that scrap puzzle piece that was cut wrong and will never fit with another. I finally find my match just so the closest three-year-old can stuff my perfect counter contour in the slobber pit. So here I am, back to root one, only this time I know that I’m missing someone who can’t be replaced.

fading fire fins

i’m sorry, my friend, that i can’t help you swim
the sun sets on your struggle
the stillness you exude tells me you’ve come to terms
sometimes the fight makes fate more cruel
i hate turning out the lights on you
i hope you understand there’s nothing i can do
it seems inevitable the sun will rise you to the peaceful surface
and that somber morning will soon fade into the deep waters of loss
and as we press further on, eternal stillness becomes part of us with every encounter
there is no life without death, there is no light without dark, there is no good without bad, there is no peace without war
but we are all in this together
so please, friend, take my hand
and in another life we’ll swim one beside the other

simple & silly

people break hearts
butterflies break wings

i know i can’t,
but i love to sing

people play games
pianos play melodies

how are you so blind
i’m a girl of quality

humans run each other
cheetahs run quick

forget or keep me
take your pick

shake 'em off

I coughed up my heart long ago.
The rest will surely follow.
And it has.
I’m walking inside out, without a doubt, through the streets of envy and disdain. Internal to the external, all exposed, walking through the pain. I’ll keep these strides forward, holding tight to who I am, ignoring society’s habitual attempt to cram discouraging words through my pores that bleed confidence. They think their mal diction is deadly and dense, but I will walk through that haunted valley and redefine intense. Now, I’m not stone cold, and I have my soft spots, but I’m rather apathetic to those who throw rocks. What do violence and hate solve beyond inflating their own cocks? I prefer to lay low and let irrelevant shit dissolve. Things that happen today will stay that way, and only time can artificially take it away. So, I’ll sit here and wait it out, watching you crazies run around and shout of all the problems that’ll be buried in time. In the mean while, I’ll keep talking in bad rhyme.

cheers, darling.

The city's so bright it burns our lungs.
Let's get out to breath and gaze the dark, salted sky.
Apathy takes its tole, and we drift toward the edge.
Pinch me to bring me back as the night's salt dissolves into the warmth of light's return.
Hold my hand.
I want to feel.
It's times like these when I wish you were real.
Now the sun shines bright and burns my lungs.
Sleep hides my eyes under heavy lids.
I'll rest until dusk takes me to a place I belong.

hydro

The rain’s been falling for days. Puddles grow to vast lakes, and the sun can do nothing now. I’ve been a stationary heart beat watching ripples on water’s surface for years. These lakes mingle into rivers and wash me away. I’ll sleep away this water and awake to a different day of dry land and freedom. The ocean’s left its waves in my hair that trickle down my face, neck, and shoulders, reminding me of a soaked past. But now I finally feel warmth through this saturated skin. The dry air absorbs my lungs, and every breath feels like my first.